Thursday, June 12, 2014

"lowering standards in june"

"379"
30" x 24"
available here

it happens after every show. i go into a bit of a slump. it's like when you prepare for a marathon (i can only imagine this). but you train for months before hand and you are just pumped for the big day. you know you are going to do well because you have dedicated all of your time in training. you are completely committed. your adrenaline is going. you feel ready. you can't wait. the day finally comes and you do better than you even thought. you actually feel proud of yourself and you're so happy with your accomplishment. 

"4.75.16"
30" x 24"
available here
the race is over and then you say well i deserve a break. i need a break. i need to refuel. i just need two days of rest and relaxation. a couple of days turns into a week. a week turns into a couple of weeks. then it's a couple of months since you've even ran a mile. now you are kind of scared because well you know you won't be where you were at and you might have to start a few paces back now.

"0"
30" x 24"
available here

this is where i'm at with painting. i felt a little burnt out after my show. gave myself permission not to paint, because when i tried it wasn't going that great. now i'm feeling a little out of shape and i want to escape with people i love and do fun summer things outside.

judy wise says, "everyone should lower their standards in June." can i come back in july and give it my all then?

Thursday, May 15, 2014

"caw!"

caw!
4' x 4'
acrylic on canvas (available here)
a few weeks ago a couple came into my studio and started to ask me questions about the works i had. i was setting up for a show so i had a lot of my paintings up against the wall and some where covered. they were very sweet and complimentary. they asked me what my connection with crows was so i tried to explain to them what they meant to me and i pulled out some of my newer pieces to show them. 

then the husband started to tell me he was not only an artist himself, but that he owned a very successful advertising agency in chicago. "the reason my company is successful is because i escape from it and give myself a chance to get creative with my own personal work so i am recharged when i go back to the office." he was very passionate when he spoke.

i'm paraphrasing here but he said, "we like to go around and look at artwork of emerging artists and we buy many many pieces for our home. we like to buy from artists that have a spiritual connection to their artwork that shows their passion, but you....you are not there yet. you are close, but no you are not there yet." slap in the face, but i laughed out of surprise from his bluntness. "you are still a slave to your technique. you have to let that all go and just release." again, he spoke so passionately and really not out of judgement, just honesty. his straightness kind of excited me.

he totally called me on something i had been feeling. i had that little voice in my head that i kept ignoring. when he said this to me i knew exactly what he was talking about and i was so grateful. i knew him coming into my studio was for a reason. i could have spoken to him all day. unfortunately, i was too shy to ask for his card, but maybe that was meant to be that way. he's kind of this mysterious angel that came in here.

so this painting here was a result of this conversation and me just letting go and not letting my thoughts control me. what came to be was intuitively born. i still have more to give though. it will come.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

"follow me"

"follow me"
4' x 4'
available here
a couple of months ago, i drove up to madison with some of my girlfriends for an art painting weekend (read about that here). i was in the back of my friends van sitting on a chair with ottoman i found at a nearby st. vincent de paul thrift store. our van was so packed, the only way i could bring my new chair home was if i forwent the van seat. there was only one in back because kiki took the rest out to make room for our supplies. so i sat in my new comfy chair all the way home. as i sat there, i looked out the window and saw a crow flying in the same direction as we were driving. the same thing happened on our way up to madison. three different times i looked out the window and saw a crow flying along with the car.

usually i don't see them flying along like that. most of the time they are cawing from a nearby tree or wire somewhere. so this really stood out to me.

this of course made me wonder why i saw it. what was it trying to tell me? was i following it or was it following me? i don't always have a clear idea of what it's trying to say, but i always use their presence as an opportunity to try to stay as present as i can. this was especially important being away from home and meeting new people.

this painting was born because of this experience.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

"the crow and spirit of a girl"

this is my niece gabriela "gabi" at different ages. if only i could bottle her up and keep her exactly as she is now forever and ever. she is just perfect with all of her curiosities, delights and giggles. she is such a great teacher for me. all i have to do is be with her when i'm having a bad day and everything gets put into perspective when she grabs my hands and makes me twirl and dance with her. her spirit constantly brings me back to the present moment.

"Purity"
At this young age, the heart is so open and pure. The crows flock to her, because her spirit shines so bright. They understand her and she understands them. Together they dance in rhythm.

"One"
Here the personality and spirit are one. There is no dividing line between the two. The girl allows her spirit to show without doubt or question.
available here.



"Caged"
Now she is a little bit older; a touch tainted by life's pollution. Her choice is to live as free and in alignment with her spirit as she once did or to cage it up and deny it. available here.


Tuesday, April 29, 2014

"crows and ravens"

"536. 91. 472"
37" x 49"
framed canvas, mixed media

(closeup)
i'm sorry i've been somewhat lax with my blog so much lately. i apologize if you are the one person out there reading it who i've neglected with a post. the truth is i've been really painting, painting and painting. i had a show last weekend and my goal was to have all new artwork up on my walls. i gave myself a number of paintings i wanted to show and i actually superseded it. However, it was important to me that every piece still remained important to me and not just a filler on my wall.

after i hung all of my paintings on the walls, it was the first time that i felt so fulfilled with all of the work i had done. it felt so good to know everything i set out to make came true. it was just a sense of relief to be surrounded by work i was proud of.

this show was all of my crows/ravens and it was so neat how the whole night (and next day) people were coming up to me telling me their crow stories. its funny because i don't think most of them realized how meaningful their stories were to them until they said it out loud.

i think i've written about my fascination with crows here before, but in case you don't remember, crows are my messengers. my guide. they teach me to be mindful and remind me to align myself with my spirit. it might be different for others, but that's what they mean to me.

this all being said, i have so many new paintings to share with you. so here we go. here's a couple. hope you like them! :)

"37"
37" x 49"
framed canvas, mixed media

(closeup)