"tick tock"

nothing like a little pressure to help push me into a faster pace. deadlines looming above my head might stress me out a bit, but they help keep me focused. so excited to be creating this new big piece. i can't wait to get back to the studio to work on it some more. i'm working on 2 pieces at once right now, which i don't normally like to do, but lack of time is leaving me without a choice. the clock is ticking. so far so good though.

"maybe balance is just a fictional state of mind"

i've always aimed to have balance in my life. i make calendars for my calendars. lists that have sublists. i put time frames on my to do lists. i number the things on my lists in order of priority. i create deadlines for myself. my brain is constantly running through what there is to do. somehow, i still forget things, i double book, i run late, i get overwhelmed, i veer off of the planned course and sometimes i just throw it all up in the air and give it up til later. 

the truth is, i'm learning, there really will never be balance. at one point in time i will be really dedicated to one area in my life, but only because i've stepped away from another. if i spend as much time in my studio as i really want, those emails don't get written. if i have my home in perfect order, i don't get to work in my paintings. if i spend time with my family, those drafts don't get made. if i stay up late writing, i don't get to be with johnny. there really is no such thing as complete harmony. balance is a fictional state of mind that is meant to just be strived for but never accomplished. 

unless...i've been doing it all wrong.

maybe it's like yoga. when you first start doing yoga and you see all of these poses and you think there is no way i will be able to do that. you try it and you look like a clutz falling everywhere. there is nothing graceful about what you are doing. until on maybe the fourth try, something clicks and you silence everything around you, you focus and you center yourself right into the pose. nothing has changed on the outside. your physically still the same. the same distractions are still there. except now this time you can get in tune with yourself and there you have it. balance.

so maybe the balance isn't going to happen in the physical parts of the day. the errands. the deadlines. the to do's. maybe it will just happen in centering yourself and tuning your antenna to find your channel. then even though everything else is out of whack you won't feel so lopsided. 

"tea time"

"tea time"
mixed media
36" x 48"

remember when i wrote about the formula i needed in order to create magic in the studio? well that formula fit the process of creating this painting to a tee. except maybe it wasn't just a pinch of fear, it was more like a bucket full of it. this was one of those paintings that i really didn't know how it was going to turn out. i didn't know how to really get what i wanted. sometimes....most of the time...my ideas are bigger than my familiar sense of capabilities. but i figure if i can imagine it, then there must be a way to do it. i just threw myself into and with courage and an open heart, it started to develop with the time spent on it. it was really a challenge for me, but in the end i'm happy with it. now on to the next one...

"does constructive criticism have to hurt?"

"every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought." -margaret chase smith

imagine this. a small dim room with all white walls. rows of chairs where your fellow co-students sit. artists you admire and want to impress. your instructor sits in the back with a poker face. the only light is the spotlight directed on the blank space on the wall where you are to hang the painting you stayed up all night working on. the paint might even still be wet. the painting you worked your butt off to finish. the painting no matter how many more hours you could work on, you would still have a twinge of "i could have done it better" lurking inside of you.

your name is called. you grab your painting and hang it up on the wall. everyone is staring at you waiting for your explanation as to why you made what you made. you stumble on your words having really no clue what you are saying as they come out. then silence. they ponder. they scratch their heads. you wait. finally someone opens their mouth to give you the dreaded critique letting you know if you are a big fat failure or if you did a good job.

this was critique day in school. it was terrifying. it was 3 hours long. sometimes even more! you knew on that day you would either leave that room with a smile or you were going to throw your painting in the garbage first chance you got. then to top it all off, everyones painting was hung on the hallway wall in order of strongest to weakest for everyone in the school to see! yes. how is that for pressure?

this went on for the four years i went to school and i can now admit that i miss it. so much growth went on in that room during those critiques. sure there were comments that made you want to turn into a roach and be crushed, but there were times when you were made aware of all the strengths you had you didn't see for yourself. 

my toughest teacher is the one i miss the most. he was like the simon cowell of american idol and i loved him. he cared and pushed us to do better even when we thought we already were doing our best. nope. there was still always another level we could go to. 

each critique got easier. i learned to be open to the advice i got and improved on what i could. as i gained more experience and confidence, i also became able to realize not everything i was told was best for me and i didn't always have to agree. that was ok too. 

if you want to grow as an artist, writer, cook, dancer, etc... don't close yourself off to words of advice that even though they might sting, can help you grow. find someone you trust and respect and ask for a moment of their time. most of the time, people are happy to do it. if they have positive things to say, then run with it. if the truth hurts a bit, just sit with it for a while before you fight it and allow yourself to improve on it. it will make you strong. the trick is this; positive or negative feedback, don't get caught up in either one. learn and move on.

"balance between knowing what you want and accepting help"

"heart to heart"
by rita maria

i believe it's so important to be able to listen to your intuition and your gut when you are being creative so what you make is born from your own spirit. however, this was definitely one of those paintings where i so appreciated the feedback i got along the way. coming into this painting i really new what i wanted and i had a vision. not a crystal clear one, but that was ok because that left me room for discovery.  there was a point in the creation of this though that i knew it needed something more and i needed another pair of fresh eyes. 

this is where my studio mate came in handy for me. tom is someone i trust and whenever he gives me advice on my paintings i listen. together we figure it out. he'll ask me questions about what i want and we go through options and we get there. this painting wouldn't have been the same without him!

i'm so lucky to have a few people like this in my life who can give me feedback and push what i really want out of me. my husband, my mom, terry, tom, ian....so many. it's helpful to ask and be open. sometimes in order to get clear with yourself, you need to bounce it around with someone you trust and who knows you. they can be your mirror and they can echo what maybe you aren't hearing clearly. just make sure you have some sort of inner foundation first on what you want. it might not be solid, but you can build from it. it will happen if you listen to yourself and are open to others as well. it just takes balance.

"adult & children's art workshop"

have a look friends at a couple of the classes i'll be teaching at the delafield arts center this summer. if you are interested please visit their website to sign up!

Adult Photo Transfer Class  absolutely no experience needed!
with artist Rita Maria

Saturday, June 22, 10:30am – 3:30pm

Fee: $75

Adults, Max. 8, Min. 4 students.

This class is not just about painting; it's about being daring in art and life! What you do on the canvas mirrors the bold steps you take in your life! This course is for anyone who wants to strengthen their creative muscles, be inspired on a daily basis, and step into their own brilliance and find their magic.

You will learn how to take a photo and transfer it into a visualized expression of yourself! Take the leap and dare yourself to try something new and fun!

Lesson includes:

 Using inspiration

Photo transferring

Color mixing

 Layering techniques

Creating depth and dimension with paint

Children's 4-Day Summer ART Camp 2013

with artist Rita Maria

Tuesday, July 9^th–July 12^th from 10:30am to 1:30pm

Ages 6-12

Fee: $180

Max. 8, Min. 4 students.

If you are registering 2 children from the same family you will be given a discount of $20 off your registration fee.

This Art Camp will inspire kids to reach beyond and create art that is unique to them. By doing so, kids feel empowered to be creative and expressive. It’s amazing to see just what kids design when given the freedom to explore and to express themselves creatively! Imaginations soar!

Give your child the gift of exploring their creativity this summer! It will be an experience they will never forget!

Your child will learn the basics of:

Collage

Mixed Media

Contour Drawing

Principles of Self-Portraiture

Acrylic Painting

We will be working with many different mediums.

ALL materials are provided throughout Camp week.

All Campers will be requested to bring their own Lunch and Snacks.

"crow dancer"

photo by: jen raschella hellman
currently available for sale at the delafield arts center

not sure where i'm going with these crow dancers, but it's something i keep envisioning and feeling the need to create. i'm trying not to over think it and just go with it. maybe the images are trying to tell me something and why should i get in the way of it? the ideas come to me and the best thing to do is not judge or criticize, but to accept it gratefully and be open to what they could mean.

i'm currently working on a 6' crow dancer! yikes! can you say intimidating? but oh so exciting!!! pushing boundaries never gets old. always always always challenging my "limitations". it's what keeps me going.

while in progress...

"the basics on photo transfers"

lately with all of my new artwork i've been getting asked a lot how i do photo transfers. it's something many people are interested in trying themselves at home. it's actually pretty easy and the possibilities can go as far as your imagination takes it. below i've laid out the basics. there are a ton of approaches to this, but this is the way i prefer. everyone will have different opinions and preferences, but this has been my favorite approach so far. in another post, i'll share more secrets and tricks. if you have questions just leave me a comment or email me. i'll be happy to help!

steps:

1. gather your supplies:

surface. for this demonstration i'm using my journal that i love love love! it's great for me to do trial and errors before i work on a big board. photo transfers can be done on all sorts of surfaces: canvas, board, wood, fabric, etc. experiment and find out what you like.

laser photo copy of your image. inkjet printers won't do. the ink doesn't separate well from the paper. if you don't have a laser copy machine, go to your local printer and ask for a laser copy on the cheapest thinnest paper they have. this will make your job later much easier trust me. also, if you want it to be in color, go for it!

gel medium. there are so many options here. there are 2 that i prefer because of their consistency. utrecht's gel medium or golden. honestly, i tend to stick with utrecht because it's cheaper and works perfectly. you might notice you can get it in glossy or matte. when i'm doing the transfer i use matte and when i'm all finished, i seal it with glossy. it gives it a nice finish.

smooth brush. the size depends on your photo. you want a brush that's fairly smooth and large enough where you can work quickly, not allowing the gel medium to dry to soon.

scraper. this can be anything. an old credit card. a palette knife. really anything flat that you can use to take out air bubbles.

2. i primed my surface with gesso. this just makes my paper a little stronger. you don't necessarily have to prime and you don't have to use primer. you can use any color paint you would like. just keep in mind the color you choose will show through your image. so if you don't want a green face, don't use green paint underneath.

3. cut the edges off of your laser image.

4. apply a thin to medium layer of gel medium over the actual image. not the back. go right over the ink and don't miss any spots. try to be quick and as even as you can be.

5. place it wet side down on your surface in the layout that you want. once it's down you can adjust it a little bit but you don't want to fuss with it too much. believe it or not the ink starts to transfer quickly!

6. use your scraper to smooth the paper out from one edge to the other removing all air bubbles. you will get oozing of the medium as you scrape. just wipe it away with a napkin. let it dry for at least an hour.

7. wet your fingertips with water and start rubbing on your image. as for how much water, this is something you will have to play with. i found i like enough water at first that allows me to see the image underneath, but as i keep rubbing, i like it on the drier side to allow more friction. too much water makes just gums up the paper and could also start to lift your image.

8. this is how it will look. the paper will start to ball up and you can sweep it away. you can even start peeling it up.

9. you might think you are done rubbing at this stage, but once it dries you'll see your image still has a thick layer of paper over it. this just means keep rubbing!!

10. keep going. this is where you will want to be a little more careful as you get closer to the actual image so you don't rub it away with the paper.

11. there are different things that can help you with the rubbing at this point so that you don't lose your fingerprints. a rough towel. an eraser. a mr.clean magic eraser (this is what i tend to use).

12. you know your done when there isn't anymore white film or furry looking paper left.

VOILA! there you have it! don't worry if you have rubbed away and left holes on your image. sometimes those add character and they work out in your favor. lets say you rubbed out an entire face and you don't like it. just cover it all up in primer and start over. no biggie.

there is a ton more you can do with these. stay tuned and i'll let you in on more fun stuff!

"there is a formula to being an artist"

the more i commit to pouring myself into my artwork, i realize there is a formula that i need to experience to create art that is important to me. i cant speak for other artists, but i would imagine it would be similar for them as well. this is what it looks like for me:

hours: it takes time. i don't mean passing time, but working time. it takes hours of dedicated time on a regular basis. not the kind of time you put into a hobby, but the kind that you fully commit to. this isn't always easy. i know. we don't feel it warrants our precious time. there are things that pull us away from being able to do this. things that we put first and think are more important than our creative time and maybe they are, but most of the time they can wait a couple of hours. also, i know it's easy to give up and not stick with it when things aren't going well. i've learned this isn't the moment to give up. it's the time to stay with it and go with the flow.

inside time: this might be different for everyone, but the idea is the same. it's when you don't have any noise in your head. when you're not on the phone, not on the computer, not emailing someone, not chattering, not going over lists in your head. it's when you are with a clean slate and quiet inside of you.  for me it's when the t.v. is off. no phone. no music or maybe just a soft inspiring tune in the background and i can just sit with a pad of paper until the ideas flow in. sometimes i might be cleaning or doing the dishes, but i'm slow about it and i'm open. focusing just on my feelings about my artwork and what my intentions are with it.

an open heart: during my time alone, my heart is completely open to ideas that speak to me. i don't allow myself to judge and i don't let the judging thoughts of others to creep in. this gets easier and easier now. most of the time i get really excited about everything that comes to me even if it seems out there. the more out there it is, the more excited i get.

a pinch of challenge: this is a must for me. i need to have that teeny bit of fear in me and that feeling of uncertainty to make it exciting. it's great when it's something i've never done before and i have to figure it out and run the risk of it not working out or hating it in the end. this keeps me going. it's the provocation. the dare. the guts to accept the challenge that makes me want to do it.

magic: then you have it. you have that feeling of fulfillment. even it's not the best painting ever. it's your best painting at this moment. you might see it 5 paintings later and cover it up with gesso, but it took that painting to get you to the painting you are working on right now. it's that feeling of wanting to put your painting up on the fridge, because you love it that much. 

when you complete this equation, you understand what it is. you understand how other people do it. you understand what it takes for you to do it. you are able to stand by your work no matter what. nothing anyone says will matter more than what you know in your heart. you will find that you know yourself so much more and more than anyone else does. 

like i said. this is my formula and it might not be the same for everyone, but if you're struggling with your art just try it. i guarantee you have nothing to lose, but so much to gain.

"exhibition photos"

me, vanessa kiki johanning, ian baker-johnson

when i'm really excited about things i forget about taking pictures, but i did manage to get these from johnny's phone. i will have to go back and take more photos. i have a piece hanging in the show that i hung so fast i never got a photo of it beforehand and i would really like to show you it. this was at our group exhibition reception, which was so much fun. there was something about this exhibition that was so exciting! there was this positive and electric energy in the gallery. and it's funny because i know other people felt it because they were coming up to me and telling me. everyone was so excited and happy. or maybe i had my rose colored glasses on because that is how i saw it all. 

it was terry's first big doing in his new role as executive director at the DAC and he made this happen. i think he set the tone and intention and we all felt the positive energy that he built up in the space. i was so happy to be part of it. i actually prefer being part of a group. i am more relaxed and i like sharing in on everyones happiness. meeting new people. seeing old friends. i am always always always amazed at how supportive people are. coming to visit and appreciate all your hard work with you. it always leaves me feeling blessed.